I need to do some major mental reorganzing...

Clutz of the Century?

If there is a corner, a sharp edge, a slight raise in the ground, I will find it for I am destined to always be covered in bruises. My elbow hurts. This makes me think of my Dad who is VERY overprotective ( Sorry Dad, this may embarass you?) When I was a kid I would never watch where I was going. One day as I was skipping along I had my face turned to behind me. So of course I didn't see the cement pole that I ran into face first. My Dad, being angry he hadn't been able to stop me getting hurt, decided to do the next best thing. He punched the cement pole. Bet that hurt!

You make me smile! I hope You know who you are! :)

No title?

A few things I've written in the past year that made me think as I reflected back on them today;

[Loving you is the most harmful thing I have ever done to myself]

[You've given me another chance to be the one you want to see. Do I want to make this work, to be the one You want Me to be?]

[I have watched the ones I've loved spirits grow cold, do you understand what it has done to me?]

Am I gloomy sometimes or what? Jeez !

Life, Again

Life, life, life. What else is there to write about really? Everyday I am humbled by the twists and turns life gives me. When you think you have everything figured out, wammy, life lets you know whos in charge. My question is, are we able to take the reins from life and fully be in charge of our own lives? Or are there too many outside influences that effect us?

Hard Work Pays Off!

So after all the hoops I have had to jump through to apply for school, apply for a student loan, apply for a fee deferral, apply for courses, I have worked everything out! Starting May 10th I am officially a student again and I am so excited! I am ready to get my life moving. Hurray! I haven't felt this happy in a long time. :)

Ruckus

I got Ruckus when I was most in need of something furry and cute to make me look forward to going home. The day I got him I was looking to buy a hamster, unfortunetly the pet store had none. Well, seeing as I was so excited and wanting SOMETHING I ended up with Ruckus who just happened to be a gerbil. When I got him home I put him in his carefully made up cage that I had made all pretty just for him. He tore the place apart! I went to pick him up and he bit me. I started texting and calling everyone I knew, asking if they wanted a gerbil, free cage and all! Fortunetly for me, no one wanted him. He turned out to be more than just a little rodent. In his life he did alot! From trips to Richmond, sunbathing outside in the summer, killing crickets like a machine, starring in a short film 'Paws and Order', to living with half a tail, he put gerbils on the map. Typically these little animals are lucky to live up to 3 years old, Ruckus lived to almost 5! On Easter he passed away peacefully, eating all the sunflower and pumpkin seeds out of his dish and then dying in his sleep in his little bed. Rest in peace little buddy, thanks for broadening my horizon.

Happy Easter!

I Enjoy Easter. Any occasion where people give me chocolate is a good one.

Reality Check

Today I was reading through some old journals of mine. I've realized that when I am feeling sorry for myself now, I should actually be feeling lucky, my life has improved alot. One journal entry in particular really put this in perspective.

Blissful ignorance, where have you gone?

Who is that person.. sleeping on my living room floor?

Will you rape me

or take me away and kill me?

I don't know, I've never seen you before.

Will my mumbling mother be coherant enough to care?

She doesn't even remember how to walk,

that's why she's collapsed on the chair.

Her face is puffy and blue,

she looks disformed.

Mommy, Mommy, it's my job to save you now.

It hurts me to see you like this.

You are more.

All is well that ends well, right?