Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Thursday, March 11, 2010
People tell me thats it's amazing that I have turned out as 'good' and well adjusted as I am. I don't know if it's a matter of me being well adjusted, I just don't see the point of dwelling on the negative and letting bad things in your life shape who you are. I think people that let that happen are weak. It is alot easier to be a bad person, a selfish person. It's hard to do the right thing, to put others before yourself. Recently I have noticed how one person in particular treats others. It makes me angry to see how selfish she is, she has no regard for other peoples feelings. Is selfishness a bad habit, like biting your nails, or is it embedded in someones core? I feel like she may be rotting from the inside out and it disgusts me.
Monday, March 8, 2010
You would think that it would be impossible to not hate someone that had made large portions of your life a living hell. Someone that had turned your mother into an alcholic mess, then hated her for it and beat her often. Someone that you were so afraid of that you would pray to God at night that they wouldn't come down the hallway when you were alseep and kill you. I wasted alot of time and energy hating this person. The person i'm talking about was recently hospitalized, there is still the posibility of him dying. Even though he has done so much to my family I went and visited him, telling him I hope he gets better.Seeing him so frail and sick looking with a tube coming out of his head made me realize that as terrible as he was, he was just a person, and like all people he makes mistakes. I feel so good that I have grown up and that I am able to be the bigger person. It seems that sometimes just letting things go is the best thing you can do.
Friday, March 5, 2010
I was looking through Gwens blog today and I came across some pictures that she had posted from our very first dog run together. It made me think of how far we had come as friends. When I first heard her on the phone it was the summer of 2008. She was asking if I would like to come up to her house and 'try out' to be her kennel help. Turns out my Moms ex boyfriend works with her husband, who happened to mention that his wife was looking for some help with her dogs, occasional feedings, that sort of thing. At this point I was working at a pet store and I was excited to work with animals some more. When I first met Gwen I was VERY intimidated by her. She seemed so self assured and confident. She took me out to the dog yard and introduced me to the dogs, kennel by kennel. How was I going to remember all their names when they all looked the same to me? Well, gradually I got to know the dogs as well as their owner. Turns out Gwen wasn't so scary after all. She was very straightforward and would always let me know exactly what she meant so I always knew where I stood with her. In October she invited me to go for an ATV run with the dogs up in the sunshine valley. After that morning my respect level for her and her dogs multiplied by millions. I was in awe at the teamwork between dogs and driver. Soon after this run Kit Kat had her puppies which then required more help from me as Gwen was very busy, working two jobs! That December Gwen asked me if I would like to come along to Camp K with her, not only as 'Cheif Puppy Minder' but also to have a chance to learn how to ride a dog sled. That trip brought us very close together. Since then we have gone on numerous trips together, lived together, lost together, and learned ALOT between us. Gwen has become more than a friend to me, she is also one of my biggest role models. My PUG (Parental Unit G) means the World to me and I am pretty sure I would be lost without her!!!
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Life is tough. I am a young adult trying to figure out life in general.
Trying to figure out who I am.
Trying to figure out how to take care of myself.
Trying to figure out what direction my life will take!
At this stage in my life nothing is set in stone, everything is up in the air. Some days this is intimidating, other days it is reassuring. I know if I mess up I will most likely have the time to go back and fix it!
So many people are putting pressure on me...
"What are you going to do with your life Erin?"
"When are you going back to school?"
"How are you going to support yourself?"
For the most part my answers are "I don't know!". I am okay with this. Why is everyone so focused on what I'm doing? I've just turned 21, did you know what you were doing with your life at that age? I have a general idea and I am open to what comes my way. I'm happy with this! This past year really taught me to take one step at a time, enjoy things as they are coming my way. Is the best life a life lived with no regrets? I would like to think so.
I am going to mess up, more than once! As long as I learn from it I think it's okay.